My testimony was a secret for 6 years. I hid from so much shame and guilt. Since coming home from Nica last year, God showed me how to live in my freedom knowing and believing that I am forgiven.
Today for the first time ever, I got to use my testimony for His glory. How perfect is He that He set this up way before I even had the slightest clue what He was doing. Not only did I receive even more breakthrough by finally sharing my testimony, but so many young girls from my class received Christ into their hearts. There is so much hurt here in Nica. So much pain that these precious kids carry on their shoulders daily. Hearing so many of their personal stories brings my heart a rush of several different emotions. I'm angry at what they have to go through every day with the sexual, physical, and mental abuse. I wish I could hurt the men, the fathers even, that force themselves onto these precious daughters. I'm angry at the mothers who show absolutely no love to their babies. I'm hurt because they hurt. I am excited to see God working in their hearts. I just wish I could do more. I wish I could say something to make it all better. I can't.
Faith. I have to have faith that God is going to handle the situation in His timing.
It's so hard being a short term missionary. I feel like I need more time. I need to help water the seeds that were planted. I want to spend every day holding them in my arms letting them know how perfect they are.
I'm praying for more. I'm praying for long term.
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