I Hate This Part

I'm not good at saying goodbye to these kids. Holding them as they cry on my shoulder, grasping on as if I'm never returning. I hate this part. 

This year is different though. This year I have so much faith in what God is going to do while I'm not here. These kids have grown so much since I saw them last and it gets me so excited for next time !

My heart is theirs❤️

Excuse my cry baby eyes in the photos ! 

Today we walked around the community and invited people to the community event at the school tonight. We got to pray over people in their homes and man... It was powerful. We then spent time in the children's cancer hospital. I'm still processing those emotions, but one thing I do feel is grateful. Grateful that He chose me. Grateful that He sees something in me that I can't. Those kids bring my heart to life in a way I cannot explain. They have so little, but so much to give. Our night ended with the community event and many tears. I wouldn't trade this family for anything in the world. 

This is home. 

Breakthrough

God promised He'd show up, we just had to be bold and vulnerable. 

My testimony was a secret for 6 years. I hid from so much shame and guilt. Since coming home from Nica last year, God showed me how to live in my freedom  knowing and believing that I am forgiven.  

Today for the first time ever, I got to use my testimony for His glory. How perfect is He that He set this up way before I even had the slightest clue what He was doing. Not only did I receive even more breakthrough by finally sharing my testimony, but so many young girls from my class received Christ into their hearts. There is so much hurt here in Nica. So much pain that these precious kids carry on their  shoulders daily. Hearing so many of their personal stories brings my heart a rush of several different emotions. I'm angry at what they have to go through every day with the sexual, physical, and mental abuse. I wish I could hurt the men, the fathers even, that force themselves onto these precious daughters. I'm angry at the mothers who show absolutely no love to their babies. I'm hurt because they hurt. I am excited to see God working in their hearts. I just wish I could do more. I wish I could say something to make it all better. I can't. 

Faith. I have to have faith that God is going to handle the situation in His timing. 

It's so hard being a short term missionary. I feel like I need more time. I need to help water the seeds that were planted. I want to spend every day holding them in my arms letting them know how perfect they are. 

I'm praying for more. I'm praying for long term. 

Day 3

Getting off the bus today was a beautiful struggle. The kids met us at the bus door with so much love and an abundance of much needed hugs. Throughout the day they loved on us before we got the chance to love on them first. 

God is so perfect. They way He set things up before we came here, is brilliant. Pieces of the puzzle are being revealed to us and it's making so much sense. This trip isn't just about these kids and the people of Nica, it's for all of the team's hearts as well. Some of us are coming free from our deepest fears and secrets too. In our stories, He will reveal Himself to those who need Him. I am so excited to see breakthrough. I am so excited for life here in Nicaragua. 

This is my sweet friend Gerald who accepted Christ into his heart yesterday. I have stayed in contact with this sweet boy since last year and I've never seen him as happy as I did yesterday. I love this boy so much❤️

Half of the group stayed back to repair a couple of roofs for some of the teachers at the school. This was a huge blessing for them. The rest of us stayed at the school and spent the day with the kids. We served the little ones lunch, it was so great. These kids have my heart forever

So much more to say, I'll continue after debrief tonight... Maybe. 

. 

I Will See You Soon, My Loves.

My heart is so full knowing that God has called me back to Nicaragua. He made it very known I was supposed to be back by getting my trip funded in ONE single donation just days before He sent me to Colombia. I stay in awe of Him. The blessings, the adventures, the love He shows me. 

This is really my life. He chose me. 

...............................................................................

These next 11 days are going to fly by, and there I'll be. Holding those sweet children in my arms again. I cannot imagine what He has in store for us all this year, locals and missionaries. I am so excited to find out though !

...............................................................................

Will you join us in prayer as we prepare our hearts?

You are so appreciated and so loved